Dildos

While G-spot toys are designed to intensely stimulate one particular part of the vagina, most dildos are designed to give you a more generally satisfying feeling of fullness, and perhaps feel good when gently moved in and out. When you have a clitoral orgasm with your vibrator or fingertips they give you something firm and satisfying to clench your vaginal muscles around, and if you like having sex with men they give you a feeling at least a little bit like intercourse with your partner which may help you fantasize. They're also available in a wide variety of shapes and textures, so you never have to get bored.

Your first choice in selecting a dildo is the material you want it to be made out of, and these days that's a no-brainer: you want silicone. Silicone is hypoallergenic and non-porous (meaning that if you like you can either clean it with hot water and anti-bacterial soap or else completely sterilize it by boiling it for five minutes), it feels warm to the touch and retains body heat, it transmits vibration beautifully, it can be made into toys that range from floppy to almost completely rigid, and if taken care of (i.e. not exposed to anything sharp that could puncture or tear it, and not exposed to silicone lubes) your toy could last a lifetime. In short, it's the perfect material to make a dildo out of.

Your second choice is selecting a width and length, and of these getting the right width is by far the more important (since you can always just not insert the dildo as far, or else wrap your fist around the base, if it would otherwise be too long). One way to pick a width is to use a rule of thumb: if you know that having two fingers in you feels just about right then select a dildo between an inch and an inch and a half in diameter, but if three fingers feels better to you then pick something slightly larger than an inch and a half in diameter. If you'd like to be more sure than this, you could first purchase some inexpensive non-silicone dildos in a variety of widths (such as these), and then choose the width of your silicone purchase based on which felt the most comfortable to you.

Your third choice is whether or not you want your dildo to resemble a human penis (though note that the "non-realistic" models are available in a variety of abstract textures and shapes, so in other words you don't have to miss out on any interesting kinds of friction just because your dildo doesn't have fake veins).

Your final choice is shape. Do you like the slightly eye-popping feeling of first being penetrated? Then pick something with a slightly pronounced head or knob at the tip. Do you like pressure against the forward wall of your vagina? Then pick something with a curve. But in general, it's probably simplest to just look at the shape and imagine what it might feel like inside you, and what it might feel like entering you, and make your choice from there.

So, with all that in mind, here are the links to the realistic silicone dildos that Toys in Babeland carries, and their non-realistic silicone dildos.

12:26 AM - 1/27/2006 - comments {0} - post comment

Oral Sex

Opinions differ on the use of safer-sex barriers for oral sex. It's clear that herpes can be transmitted from genitals to mouth or mouth to genitals during unprotected oral sex, but some people feel the risk is acceptably low outside of the most infectious period (which starts with the tingling "prodrome" sensations that precede an outbreak, and continues until several weeks after the sores go away). It is possible to pick up a bacterial infection of the mouth or throat by going down on someone who currently has a bacterial STD (typically Gonorrhea, more rarely Syphillis or Chlamydia), but these can usually be cured with antibiotics once they're identified.

It is clear that the risk of transmitting HIV is much, MUCH lower for unprotected oral sex than for unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, and that the risk is MUCH lower for the person being sucked or licked than for the person doing the sucking or licking. For the person doing the sucking or licking, the risk of transmission is lower if your gums (and lips/mouth/throat) are healthy, if you don't let men come in your mouth, and if you don't perform cunnilingus on a woman while she is menstruating.

Some sex educators recommend NOT flossing or brushing your teeth for an hour before giving unprotected oral sex (use Cool Mint Listerine or some other anti-bacterial mouthwash if you're concerned about bad breath or just want to freshen up), and others recommend quickly looking over the genitals you're about to go down on for obvious signs of contagious STDs (including genital warts, which can on rare occasion be transmitted from genitals to mouth). If your policy for performing unprotected fellatio is to not let your partner come in your mouth and he does so anyway, it's better to immediately spit than to either wait or swallow, and it may help (especially for bacterial STDs) to then go use an anti-bacterial or peroxide mouthwash. Pre-cum can contain HIV, and although not letting men come in your mouth SIGNIFICANTLY reduces your already low risk to even lower levels, if you are concerned about becoming infected via pre-cum while performing fellatio you have two risk-reduction options: not taking the head of his penis in your mouth or using barriers for oral sex.

If after getting all the facts you decide that your personal safety standards include barriers for oral sex, then you'll need to use latex condoms (without Nonoxynol-9) for fellatio, and either regular saran wrap or one of those "Glyde" dams for cunnilingus (for cunnilingus, put a little water-based lube on your partner's side of the barrier to increase the sensation transmitted to her). The same barrier techniques used for cunnilingus can also be used for analingus (rimming), where they should be considered essential if the person doing the licking isn't immunized against hepatitis A or if the person being licked may have a bacterial infection.

12:25 AM - 1/25/2006 - comments {0} - post comment